I've heard this since I was a little kid. At 5 years old, my father would constantly put me in bow ties and collared shirts. He never let me wear "urban" clothing like baggy jeans, caps to the back and sports jerseys. He always felt like this would perceive me to be a "goon" or less desirable person. You see my dad came from Nigeria and lived in the 1970's where a simple shirt was considered a luxury. He would blur the lines of exaggeration and truth telling me about how he only had 7 outfits for the whole year living with six siblings in Lagos.
I used to hate dressing in bow-ties and mini suits that once I hit 11, I went through every fashion phase you could think of.
Let's fast forward to my professional life that started in 2007. I have had a mix of corporate jobs and start up jobs. I worked at a start up where you could literally wear hoodies in the winter time and shorts in the summer time. I loved this and began to wear what made me comfortable. I received a harsh reality when I saw businessmen in the elevators looking down upon me due to my dress. Wearing a hoodie and jeans, while being young, still gives nervous signals to professionally dressed men and women. My first initial feeling was how dare they judge me without knowing me. I also started seeing that my mood varied depending on what I wore. I started to realize my dad was preparing me for these moments of judgement.
The judgement to make a considered decision isn't always sensible. I realized wearing that mini suit had more to do with preparing my mind to always represent myself in the best way possible.
When I walk in an elevator dressed to the tilt, I get respect from people that most likely make 7 times more than me. They don't know I make under $60,000 a year. They don't know I have student loans I have to pay or that I only have two good suits. I shouldn't care about their perception in reality but that's just the way it is. They see my height at 6'6 and my confidence that I belong to be in that same elevator with them.
If both our business suits could talk they'd be saying,
"touche mon frere."
Let's fast forward to my professional life that started in 2007. I have had a mix of corporate jobs and start up jobs. I worked at a start up where you could literally wear hoodies in the winter time and shorts in the summer time. I loved this and began to wear what made me comfortable. I received a harsh reality when I saw businessmen in the elevators looking down upon me due to my dress. Wearing a hoodie and jeans, while being young, still gives nervous signals to professionally dressed men and women. My first initial feeling was how dare they judge me without knowing me. I also started seeing that my mood varied depending on what I wore. I started to realize my dad was preparing me for these moments of judgement.
The judgement to make a considered decision isn't always sensible. I realized wearing that mini suit had more to do with preparing my mind to always represent myself in the best way possible.
When I walk in an elevator dressed to the tilt, I get respect from people that most likely make 7 times more than me. They don't know I make under $60,000 a year. They don't know I have student loans I have to pay or that I only have two good suits. I shouldn't care about their perception in reality but that's just the way it is. They see my height at 6'6 and my confidence that I belong to be in that same elevator with them.
If both our business suits could talk they'd be saying,
"touche mon frere."
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